A Glimpse from a Broken Mirror

As I wandered listlessly through the perilous jungle of the YouTube catalog (trigger-finger readied above the mouse)-- attempting to avoid the coma-inducing "how-to" videos, wading through the inescapable quicksand-like trappings of grainy "home-mades", hastening my pace 'round the thousands of adds masquerading as videos (waiting like tigers in the trees), and whilst side-stepping the thousands of gag-reels-- I came upon a heroin-addled, crack-slinging, former wife and mother trudging through the filthy streets of a down-town Canadian slum, thanks to National Geographic's "Drug, Inc." series.  I listened intently as she wove her woeful tale, noting the striking similarities between her life and the lives of so many within my familial-fold. 

     Her initial introduction to heroin began innocently-enough and the story is a familiar one (if you find yourself enticed by shows of this nature): She was a happy wife and mother, dabbling on occasion in recreational drugs in social-situations, and her life was turned on its ear after an injury.  Her claim is that she met a physician that prescribed her an "absurd amount of narcotics, that hard-wired her to morphine".  Her doctor was investigated by "the feds" and he pulled her medication; a few days later she ended up on the wrong side of the tracks "learning to sling crack" in order to support her drug habit, feeding the beast with a cheap substitute for her beloved drug of choice-- heroin.  

     My heart bled for the woman, especially after experiencing something similar myself (well, not the desperate heroin addiction). Five or six years ago, after I relocated from Colorado to Las Vegas-- and while under temporary long-distance transitional pain-management care-- I was no longer able to contact my physician... out of the blue.  I didn't know what on-earth to do, or where exactly I was supposed to turn!  Since I was several thousand-miles away from her, I didn't even know what was going on!  Was the woman sick, dead, or worse?? A few weeks later I was forwarded an ominous video-clip from a friend in the area:  my beloved doctor was under investigation for improper billing practices...and she was all over the local news.  My head was swimming.  What was to become of ME?  I had been under her care for years on the back of a horribly botched tumor surgery and my own dosage (like the woman in the YouTube-video) was relatively high-- as dosages go.  
     Without my medication to assist me along I began to go into serious with-drawl.  Without my doctor's-office in operation even retrieving basic medical charts and histories (to be transferred and confirmed for whatever new doctor I chose to see in my new locale).  It was about that time that some very serious medical phenomena began to manifest itself.  It sounds funny to say, but, I thank-God that it did!  Without those complications I would have never been able to undergo continuing treatment for my care.  
     As I watched this disheveled, filthily-desperate woman-- living on the streets of Canada-- It was like peering through the looking-glass.  "There but for the grace of God, go I..." 

     Continuing through this gritty documentary they follow the trail from Poppy-plant to your downtown street-corner.  They paint some very desperate (almost propaganda-like) images-- pointing primarily to the Middle-East and groups like Al-Qaeda for the growth, production, and distribution of local heroin.  Where that paints a powerful image, I believe that there is only partial truth to this.  So many other groups have their fingers in this process-- granted many may have their roots to farmers in other countries-- but prior to 9/11 I had personally seen multitudes of other documentaries, movies, and the like that could trace the illusive "Poppy" to "south-of-the-border", or even to local growers in places as localized as California! 
      I think that this was both an astute and an incredibly manipulative ploy on the part of the film-makers-- patriotic though it may be.  I can see the sort of frenzy they were hoping to create in the hearts and minds of the American-viewers.  I'm sure that they thought to themselves (on the back of the recent-tragedy): "How else can we use this documentarian vehicle to effect change?"  I can see the gears turning as they chose their on-site locale-- and I'm certain that in an attempt to prey upon certain sympathies-- they settled on an area that was a hot-bed of recent hysteria, believing (naively) that they could potentially knock the needle from some local patriots' arm.  I think that it's a lofty ambition, albeit a dangerous one.  It's safe to say that whilst effecting change, they also added to the growing sentiment of hate.

     I can't let this moment go without a chance to discuss my most favorite element of this particular YouTube docu-movie of sorts:  The HEROES.
     So often in my own life I have wondered if there was ever an end in sight for this particular problem.  As aforementioned, I have/have had family members that I've been watching spiral ever-downward in their own addictions (as in the intro, to prescription-medications), and I have been waiting for the penny to drop with them for some time (since they are loooooong past the time where our pleas for their lives matter much).  They will either succumb and pass away, or perhaps (as is my undying hope) find some sort of "program" and turn back the hands of time-- becoming the once essential family members that they once were.   
     My favorite of the proposed solutions is unfortunately effectuated by the Swiss (though I'm sure that public sentiment is not on my side here).  They have a program that seems a little close to our "methadone-clinics", however, several times a day they provide addicts with pharmacutical-grade, clean, sterile, heroin; clean, sterile, needles; and a sterile environment in which to administer their "drug-of-choice".  They don't administer enough to get them "high", but they supply their patients with a mere "maintenance-dose" a few times a day-- in exchange for their participation in supplemental-treatments (i.e. psychiatric care, group therapies, etc).  The program is radical, forward-thinking, and incredibly astute.  I say this because, just as I've seen family and friends become addicted to various substances, I've also seen them swap that addiction for that of methadone.  Contrary to popular belief, it IS just as addictive and abuse-able as other drugs in the spectrum-- especially when you mix them with other medications (Xanax in particular)--and ultimately they end up either addicted to the substitution, or running back to their precious needle.  Why not cut out the middle-man and make it safe and accessible under supervision??  They stated in the documentary that crimes and disease among the addicted were down by a whopping SIXTY-PERCENT in a relatively short period!!!
      
       I know that I've left quite a bit out (as far as the documentary is concerned) but I wanted to address the major bullet-points that affected me the deepest, closest, and most personally.  Watching this documentary brought me into the world of a heroin-addict, from A to Z and all in-between.  
      In essence, it moved me in various ways-- playing on my emotions each time: filling me with a sense of dread, regret, shame, disgust, and resentment-- ultimately coming to a close with a brief glimpse of hope-- hinting at the potentiality of a semi-"happy-ending".   
       Watching (as I've mentioned before), was likened to watching a life flash before my eyes... or lives... of those that I love and hold dearest to my heart.  It was like viewing their eventual paths, in technicolor-- briefly glimpsed through the filthy shards of a broken-mirror.  Their images sullied and riddled with their own disease, their empty eventualities unfolding before me.  How long before it shatters?  I hope to God it mends.

http://youtu.be/kYiuRyLnZOk